It’s still you.
It’s interesting how we learn to forget. How we force forgetting. But what does it mean when you cycle out to being strangers with the person who meant everything to you? Because you never really stop knowing each other in a special way.
Maybe there’s no choice but to make them someone different in your mind, not the person who knew your daily anxieties and what you looked like naked and what made you cry and how much you loved them.
When our lives revolve around someone, they don’t just stop revolving around them even if all that’s left is the grief and pain that comes with their memory. Because you loved them, there will always be parts of them that linger. The memories that are impressed on the places you went and the things you said and the songs you listened to will remain. We all eventually find ourselves standing in the checkout line, hearing one of those songs come on and realizing that all of a sudden, we’re revolving around them again. And maybe we never stopped.
How can emptiness be so heavy?
Und selbst wenn ich dich nicht kriege,
wird eines für immer sein.
Der Schmerz in meinem Herzen,
mein Leben ohne dich gewesen zu sein.
Weil du die Liebe meines Lebens bist.
I love you, and I don’t know if I’ll ever really stop. No matter who I’m with, it’s you that I think about. I’m not saying I’m unhappy without you, and I’m not saying I can’t live without you because I can, I would just much rather live with you next to me.
I can’t let go of you.
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
Don’t fall in love with someone who lives
four thousand miles away
because everything inside of you will
fracture when you realize it won’t work.
You don’t ever really let go. You don’t stop. You don’t stop hurting and you don’t stop loving. It doesn’t go away, you just keep living and eventually things get pushed into the background of your life so it’s not consuming you every day. And then one day you know you’re okay. Sort of.
You are the most out of reach thing I’ve ever wanted. And now you’re slipping away just like water slips through my fingers in the shower no matter how hard I try to keep it there. For a little bit I had a small puddle in my hands. Maybe if I would’ve squeezed my fingers together tighter you wouldn’t have seeped through.
I think everyone has a certain part of their lives where they truly wish they could just freeze time. Whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come, whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer. Everyone has a time in their life where they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning and people would stop changing. Because at that time, everything was perfect.